Am I adulting yet?

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The girl I was crushing on this summer referred to me as ‘My Grace’ and it made my heart go all fluttery

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That awkward moment when the boss of one of the haunted houses you work for starts bashing the other haunted house you work for.

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Want to attend college for free? It can happen if you learn German.

All German universities are now free to Americans and all other international students. The last German state to charge tuition at its universities struck down the fees this week.

Even before Germany abolished college tuition for all students, the price was a steal. Typically semester fees were around $630. What’s more, German students receive many perks including discounts for food, clothing and events, as well as inexpensive or even free transportation.

In explaining why Germany made this move, Dorothee Stapelfeldt, a Hamburg senator, called tuition fees “unjust” and added that “they discourage young people who do not have a traditional academic family background from taking up study. It is a core task of politics to ensure that young women and men can study with a high quality standard free of charge in Germany.”

Actually, German universities were free up until 2006 when they started charging tuition. That triggered such a crush of criticism that German states began phasing out this policy. Lower Saxony was the last holdout.

It’s too bad that politicians in the U.S. don’t feel that a college education is worth supporting appropriately. State aid to the nation’s public universities took a nosedive during the 2008 recession and education funding remains well below those levels. The average state is spending 23 percent less per student than before the recession, according to a report by the Center on Budget and Policy Priorities.

Actually, state support has been declining for public universities for a quarter of a century. Using an interactive tool from The Chronicle of Higher Education, you can see how state government subsidies have cratered at individual institutions.

With the average undergrad borrower now leaving school with more than $29,000 in debt, the free ride in Germany can look awfully tempting.

How to handle the language barrier

German is not an easy language to learn. Fortunately, however, there are international language programs in Germany, which have become very popular with international students before they tackle obtaining a degree in a different language.

What’s more, an increasing number of German universities are offering degrees in English. These are often called international studies programs or in some other way have the word international in their title.—free-degrees—americans/16658027/

This is actually making me cry…it’s one of those times when you realize that your own government just truly, honestly, does not give a shit about your wellbeing in any way.

If Americans don’t reblog this, then y’all need help.

(via thesearethingsthatilike)

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Happy National Coming Out Day,

I did post a bland and happy post earlier ….and then shiz went down, here is a more rangy piece,

Today I encountered….a lovely human… who accepted ‘the gays’ but not bisexual people. When I asked why, she explained to me that this was because being attracted to…

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So for National Coming Out Day I filmed this big long video about labels and less common orientations, but my camera is a butt and my computer is a butt so I have no way to edit it and the quality is bad. So instead here is a long post about labels.

To start, I identify as either bi-romantic graysexual or bi-romantic demisexual, honestly it depends on the day. I will break that down in a second, but first let me explain some other stuff about attraction.

For most people, all attraction is kind of mushed together. Are you straight? You’re attracted to men, etc. But actually there are a bunch of subdivisions of attraction, and when they don’t all match up it can make finding a label for yourself more difficult. There are probably more, but I’ll explain 5 different attractions:

Aesthetic: This is liking what people look like. That’s it. Thinking they are a nice looking human. Gay men or straight women can appreciate beautiful woman and not be any less gay or straight. I can think my cat is the most beautiful cat in the world (because it is true) but don’t want to marry her.

Platonic: You want a friendship with a person. For any number of reasons you want to hang out or get to know them better, but not kiss faces and all that jazz.

Sexual: You have the desire to have sexual contact with that person. This is different than arousal or libido, which are more biologically based functions, while sexual attraction is directed at a particular person.

Sensual: This is also a desire for physical contact with a specific person, but includes everything that is not sexual: holding hands, kissing, cuddling, and all those things.

Romantic: This is harder to describe because romance is different to everyone. Usually this is what is meant when someone says they have a “crush.” In a way it is romanticizing a person, getting giddy about them and thinking they are special. Wanting a special connection with them, maybe want to commit to them in some way, form a relationship, etc.

For the majority of people, the lines between these attractions often blur together. But sometimes they don’t match up, or they are missing all together.

Asexual and Aromantic: This means there is a lack of this kind of attraction. An asexual person does not experience sexual attraction, this may or may not mean they experience sensual attraction, because everyone is different. This also does not mean they are incapable of arousal, or are “broken” in some other way. Aromantic is the same, this doesn’t mean they can’t love (because love is different for everyone) or form friendships, it just means they don’t feel romantic attraction.

Allosexual/romantic: Allo means you do experience this kind of attraction, it is usually not used because right now its considered the “norm” but if you would like to use it, awesome!

Graysexual/romantic: Between the two ends of the spectrum 
(allo <————————->asexual)
is a gray area. People feel like they are in this area for any number of reasons: they have only experienced sexual/romantic attraction a couple times, around their peers they don’t feel like they fit in when sex/romance comes up, they are asexual/romantic but physically enjoy sex or emotionally like romantic relationships, and tons of other reasons.

Demisexual/romantic: This is a specific type of graysexual that means a sexual/romantic attraction can form if a strong bond is made to a particular person. This shouldn’t be confused with celibacy, waiting until marriage, or any other conscious choices.


I use bi-romantic, because I am romantically attracted to both men and woman, but also because it’s a label that I like. I know there is a lot of stigma about bisexuality, and I think having sex right in a label contributes to that. I don’t want people to immediately think about who I might sleep with when I tell them about my identity as a whole. So I go with my romantic orientation instead.

Labels are weird things, they make it easy to express who we are, but they also make it hard to change or give us room to explore. Some people really do change and grow into a different orientation, or have exceptions, or are confused. And that’s ok! It’s fine to be confused. I’m still confused! So today, if you want to come out as something, awesome, go for it. But, don’t feel like any label has to hold you back from what will make you happy.


Filed under straight gay bi pan asexual aromantic lgbta national coming out day labels orientation queer